ORLANDO — If you do one thing well in your search for meaning, love and companionship, make the first few dates count.
Welcome to First Date, a new column by a new columnist who is going to specialize in creating the best opportunities possible for adult dating.
Because, dudes: You need to make an impact.
That doesn’t mean shower her with effusive compliments or gifts (desperation) or show off (sad). Show her you’re real. Show her you’re not desperate (dating death!). Show her you are multi-dimensional … a real human being who happens to be a really cool guy that she’d be crazy not to want to know.
I know people have as many opinions on dating and relationships as on how to make barbecue. And — this might surprise you — I don’t have all the answers.
So I’ve taken on the assignment of finding great places for you to take that babe you’ve been secretly digging. To help find the right combination of vibe, location, and “mood creating opportunity,” I’m directing you to certain spots around town. Ideally, these are going to be great places to take that cutie pie on a first, second and third date. If you’ve done your job well, after three dates — dude, you sure won’t need me anymore.
I think what most people actually want is someone who loves them for who they are. So that means you have to be who you are in order to find that. But, like a hamburger on a billboard – it looks a lot nicer on the billboard than in the actual burger joint. Get it?
It also means — Grrrrr! — that you have to take some emotional risk. Consider it part of the cost of doing business, the business of love. Obviously, this is not a hit-it-and-quit-it type of column. Nah, we already know how to do that: Get her slightly tipsy, introduce her to your friends, show her off a little, drop subtle hints about kids and how much you love your mom, dogs, home in Santa Barbara and private jet …. you know that drill. Knees will buckle as surely as Edgewater Drive.
Nah, this is for those of us who actually like women, even though we all know they can be kind of crazy at times. “How can they not know which way is east?” you might ask.
But they feel so nice, and they do things that we love. They hold our hands, and if you’re lucky rub our backs, and if you’re really, truly lucky, are funny and a little weird.
Okay, so my vindictive and cruel editor has asked me to write one article per week about a great date spot. What qualifies as such? Good question. Like I said, I don’t have all the answers, but I know a few things about girls in my age group: 35-45. They like interesting things. They notice details. They like to replay every part of their day to friends. They like funky, and variety. Even the most tomboyish chick likes to feel like a girl occasionally. If you like her and want to date her, your job is to make her feel good. If she feels good with you, she’ll want to see more of you.
Many of the women in our age range have been to the dance. They know they drill and yet they still hope for love.
Your job is to help her.
Next week: An actual review of a great date place!
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